


Mistakes Have Been Made

by Thisismysideaccount



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Identity Reveal, Alya Césaire Ships It, Batfamily (DCU), But only a little, Chloé Bourgeois Redemption, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, F/M, Gay Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Gaydrien, Hot Mess Adrien Agreste, Hot Mess Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Lila salt, M/M, Team as Family, and yet they never use them, he wants to deny his crush by all means, its more of a cameo really, like five braincells between the two of them, mari and adrien have, shes a background character, the batfam knows immediately
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:33:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27222031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thisismysideaccount/pseuds/Thisismysideaccount
Summary: Chat Noir leapt over another building using his baton to launch himself farther across the balconies. In a panic, he looked behind him. Maybe they stopped chasing him?Batman and Robin’s figures slowly gained on him.“CHAT NOIR I’M GOING TO FUCKING CASTRATE YOU!”Ah, there was his lady.And with that as his only warning, a yoyo wrapped itself around his waist and pulled.Aka; Gotham gets some surprise guest heroes when Marinette’s school wins a trip to Wayne Enterprise. Damian has a crush on a girl half his size who could kick his ass, Marinette wants a peaceful vacation, and Adrien just wanted to run around as Chat Noir without having to worry about being descended on by Batman and his brood.This is an AU bc I don’t like season 3 all that much, so some events have been altered to fit my hatred of it.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste & Chloé Bourgeois & Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Chloé Bourgeois, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Jonathan Kent, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Chloé Bourgeois & Alya Césaire, Chloé Bourgeois & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Damian Wayne
Comments: 18
Kudos: 413





	Mistakes Have Been Made

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crack fic. I have consumed a lot of daminette and thought I should contribute to the cause. I have a serious Maribat crossover in the works, and the next chapter of Braided Lies comes out next week. But enjoy this mess.

_Technically_ , Marinette thought wryly, _if she used Khaalki to get to Gotham, she could dodge the worst of the jet lag._ Of course, in interest of protecting her secret identity as Ladybug and the Guardian of the Miracle Box, she couldn’t do that. But the thought was nice.

It was also nice to know she was still capable of thought, seeing as she had consumed an ungodly amount of coffee the past week in an attempt to be free of commissions by the time her class’s trip to Gotham rolled around.

It worked, but on the flip side, buuuuut she was pretty sure that her brain was turning to mush.

Ah well. If she died, it wouldn’t be her problem anymore.

“-kay Marinette?”

Oh, Alya was talking.

“Huh?” She muttered tiredly. They were still on the bus that took them to the airport. And they were nowhere near the airport. 

Alya looked concerned. “When was the last time you slept for more than twenty minutes?”

Marinette glanced at her seatmate. The girl seemed genuinely concerned over her well being. Unfortunately, if she told the truth Alya and the rest of her friend group would try to forcibly sedate her.

“Sleep is for the weak.”

Wrong answer, apparently, because her best friend took that as an excuse to hit her with a pillow.

“So what I’m hearing is that it's been at least 4 days?”

Marinette groaned, turning to face the window. Was this a Sleep headache, an Alya headache, or a _I haven’t drank anything that wasn’t coffee or an energy drink in seven days_ headache?

“Why am I not dead yet,” She grumbled, before calling out “Round up a bit”

“Fucking hell. Girl you need to go to bed before you actually die. Drink some fucking water too, you look like you’re about to throw up”

“Probably because I haven't had anything without caffeine in it for at least seven days.”

“ _How are you not dead yet?_ ”

“Spite. And pity, probably.”

Nino kicked her seat from behind her. “Just go to sleep dudette.”

“If I don’t wake up, _you guys_ are the ones carrying me to the airport.”

* * *

  
  


They have to carry her to the airport. And to the plane. And _off_ the plane.

(Frankly, she sleeps so deeply they worry she might actually be dead. But then they remember who it is. It would take the entire Gotham Rogues Gallery _and_ Superman combined to wake Marinette post Commission Nap.)

It takes getting to the hotel to wake Marinette up, if only for her to check her room number and check in before going right the fuck back to sleep. She has brain cells to recover please and thank you.

Marinette wakes up coherently enough to think sometime in the early am hours.

Which is a disgusting time to be awake. She could just go back to sleep for another few hours before needing to be awake.

And that had been her plan too, until she heard a scuffle, and then a shout, coming from the roof.

It’s fine. That’s fine. Batman could take care of it. Ladybug was on vacation.

“Shit. No, I’m serious. I’m a Parisian hero on vacation” More clanging of steel on steel.

“I would find it purr-retty cool to meet Catwoman though”

Marinette would like to meet Catwoman too.

_Wait, fuck, isn’t that Chat Noir?? Did he never fucking listen when she told him shit??? She’s gonna skin that mangey fucking cat._

* * *

  
  


_“Alright Chat, I’m going on vacation for the month, and I’m gonna be out of the city. You think you can hold the fort here for a bit? If you call me, I’ll be able to teleport here using the horse miraculous, so don’t worry about Akumas. Just keep up public appearances to keep the crime rate low”_

_Chat grimaces, swinging his legs off the side of the Eiffel Tower. “Actually, about that Bug. I’m_ also _going on vacation. To Gotham. Won’t be in town.”_

Gotham? _She wonders if they could be in the same class, but disregards the thought. She’s not supposed to be thinking about her partner’s identity. Bad Ladybug._

_“Y’know, I’m also going to be in Gotham, actually.” God she really shouldn’t be giving away this much information about her identity. “So, if we get the akuma alert on our phone, send me a pic me up message and I’ll grab you before teleporting.”_

_The grin that lights up Chat’s face is unfairly heartwarming. “Can we meet up in costume then?”_

_“Too dangerous. I don’t want to explain to Batman why we’re out on his territory. And I don’t think we ever properly established Paris as a SuperCity, and I don’t want to be the person dealing with Batman after he finds that out.”_

_Chat’s sigh is entirely too fake for him to be actually upset about it. “A month without bugaboo, whatever am I to do?”_

_Ladybug laughs. “Not transform, hopefully. If I read news articles about you in the press while I’m out_ relaxing, _I’m going to kill you”_

_“And if I get caught by Batman?”_

_“Don't even joke about it.”_

* * *

  
  


Adrien likes to think he has common sense.

Most people disagree.("You have some sort of sense" Nino said once. "But it sure as hell isn't common sense dude")

Which is why he waited for three a.m., the witching hour, the hour he was least likely to get caught by the bats, to transform. 

He knew, theoretically, it was a bad idea. 

("This is a bad idea kid" is what Plagg had said before Adrien had transformed)

He knew he was going against Ladybug's direct orders, by transforming. 

("Alright, but like, _seriously_. Don't transform in Gotham. We don't need an international incident.")

But, he justified to himself, so long as no one caught him, no one could scold him for getting around the rules. It's the same logic he used when disobeying his father. (Albeit with much less malice) 

What could go wrong? It's not like Batman is _always_ prowling the streets at night. He's certain that his english is good enough for him to be able to talk his way out of a situation so long as he doesn't run into the bat himself. 

(He's heard that Nightwing makes puns. He _really_ hopes he meets Nightwing.)

* * *

Chat Noir runs into Batman and Robin not even five minutes after leaving the hotel. 

_He's not even that far, it's not fair._

Chat Noir climbed onto the roof of the hotel, did a couple of flips and tricks before getting ready to run across the rooftops, when the iconic duo descended upon him like avenging angels. 

Three minutes. That's all it took to get into trouble. (He forgets, sometimes, that he is the literal embodiment of bad luck once transformed.)

Robin points his Katana at him, (and really, he has a _sword? That's not fair)_ before growling. "State your name and business"

Batman stands a bit behind him, looming over him like a terror from the night. It's a rather effective intimidation tactic. 

"Just a cat passing through. I'll be out of your hair right _now_ "

He makes a break for it, but only gets to run for a few seconds before Robin tries to stab him. He panics, using his baton as a sword to redirect the blow elsewhere, but stops. 

His suit is indestructible, but Robin seems like the type to figure out how to get around that _just_ to stab him. 

"Name and business." 

Chat Noir gulps. 

( _Has Batman even_ moved _during this encounter? He's willing to bet no and that's a terrifying thought.)_

"Alright, alright. I'm Chat Noir, resident superhero in Paris. Not here on business, just pleasure"

Robin raises a brow and snorts. "Really, you expect us to believe that? Paris doesn't have superheroes, or a supervillain. It's not even a Super City."

Ah, right. He forgot about that. They never got around to registering after the disaster that was Stoneheart. 

"Do you work for Catwoman?" Batman's voice was just as deep as he imagined it to be. And just as intimidating. Fits the man whose whole shtick was 'I am the Night'. Hella intimidating, but completely on brand. 

Chat doesn't even get the chance to answer, because Robin apparently had enough of playing nice. 

Robin made another attempt to skewer the cat hero.

As a civilian, Adrien is a _fencer._ He doesn't have training in other types of swordplay. As a hero, _Chat doesn't even have a sword._

The brief scuffle goes about as well as expected. 

He has a cut on his face. It stings. 

Robin is smirking. (Somehow that hurts more)

"I'm telling you, I'm really just here om vacation"

Robin looks as disbelieving as he did before, and makes another move to lunge at Chat. Before he can, Chat extends his baton forward to knock him back. 

“Shit. No, I’m serious. I’m a Parisian hero on vacation” 

Robin throws a batarang at him. Chat appeals to the adult in the room. (On the roof, if he was being technical, but in the comfort of his own mind, Chat could describe them however he wanted.)

“I would find it purr-retty cool to meet Catwoman though”

Batman steps forward silently.

Chat Noir spooks.

 _Well,_ he thinks, _he can take getting chased by Batman off the bucket list._

* * *

Chat Noir leapt over another building using his baton to launch himself farther across the balconies. In a panic, he looked behind him. Maybe they stopped chasing him?

Batman and Robin’s figures slowly gained on him.

He regrets every decision he's made. This is literally all his fault.

He jumps from rooftop to rooftop, hoping to shake the vigilantes off his tail. He turns randomly, jumping down to street level in hopes of getting lost in the alleys. 

“CHAT NOIR I’M GOING TO FUCKING CASTRATE YOU!”

Ah, there was his lady.

And with that as his only warning, a yoyo wrapped itself around his waist and _pulled._

Well, he had a getaway now. 

* * *

Yes, she decided as she slid on Khaalki's glasses, she was going to string Chat Noir by his fucking balls. Let him hang off the Eiffel Tower by his _dick._ Then she was gonna beat him the fuck up. 

_He really was_ that _stupid._

The one thing she told him not to do. But _nooo_ , he had to go and do it. 

He really went and tempted fate like he _didn't_ have the embodiment of destruction and bad luck sit in his pocket all day. 

It is three o'clock in the morning and instead of being asleep she's chasing down her partner to make sure Batman and Robin don't catch him. When she got her hands on him that boy was gonna _wish_ he got caught by Batman. 

She kept Khaalki's Miraculous on even though she hadn't merged yet, instead following the chase from the ground, sticking to alleyways. She didn't need Batman noticing _her._

She was very, _very_ lucky that Chat's eyes glowed in the dark. 

Eventually, Chat dropped to the ground level. Which meant he was in range. _Perfect._

"CHAT NOIR" She yelled, readying her yoyo "I’M GOING TO FUCKING CASTRATE YOU!”

And in one swift movement, she pulled, yanking Chat Noir from his spot across the street to her. 

"Khaalki Merge!"

She didn't have time to run back with Chat. Batman and Robin were literally _right there._

(Chat was going to _get it_ once she got back to her hotel room.)

She opened up a portal to the hotel room she would be staying in, harshly shoving Chat in. 

"I'm sorry for my partner's behavior. You won't be seeing him again anytime soon. Hopefully ever. Goodbye little bird. Goodbye Batman."

And she jumped in, because any longer and they would have been close enough to head in after her.

 _"Chaton"_ she growled, "You wanna talk about what just happened?"

Chat Noir looked like he wanted nothing more than to jump out the window. 

It's what he deserved.

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter will probably be much longer, bc Damien pov. Dont expect an update schedule tho, bc i dont have the time or energy to devote to that. AP calc and comp science do that to you


End file.
